Its my life, Its now or never

 So ! Hey there! 

My first post and it's supposed to be a private blog. Look obviously no one's gonna search for this or read this. So it's gonna remain as such forever prolly.

The title - it's funny right! It has another depressing face to it. For example, MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE till now :)

My birth in a polyclinic was chaos. I mean it, bro! It's more like, my grandparents lost the money they had to pay to settle the hospital bills, my mom was losing so much blood, my dad wasn't there for ritualistic reasons and I just came out <shrugs>. The last line makes it all clear, doesn't it? 

So, was it a reason to celebrate, absolutely not my dear! Next comes my childhood period. Do you remember the games you played as a kid? Do you still have the toys? are they even being produced? Oh, my toys would never go out of stock! Not worth the curiosity, it's a simple pen and paper. 
Source: Trust me, bro! Cuz I have no proofs <obviously>

Now if you're gonna think I was a nerd to play with pen and paper, you're wrong again! I could never be a nerd. I've grown up to procrastinate <just teen things>. So many things have changed around me, except some: Overthinking <not a trend though>, insecurity <-p sweet but psycho>, loneliness <that's legit my worst fear ngl>

By now you would've come to the conclusion that you're reading a psych's blogpost <lol only if you're reading>. Growing up wasn't a happy part of my life, there were so many things I got introduced to, which I'm not proud of. Some are Politics inside the family, the toxic part of society, sharing my company with an immature person, and peer pressure. 

Politics inside the family - the term I coined for the toxic incidents that happen in my family. I'm no less than a minor CBI to investigate cases and also not the legit CBI to report and solve the case. The best I could do to it was to sit in a corner and cry. Coming to the crying part, Oh man what a relief it is I should say! Crying gets your emotions out! Crying gives you the drama part you always wanted to be! Crying isn't bad always you see <ofcourse, there's no point>.

Toxic part of society - I did understand how we've drawn stupid rules of life for ourselves and keep fooling each other to do the same to gain respect and dignity among the group of clowns <I mean, the society obviously, bro we make each other laugh, it's that simple>

Sharing my company with an immature person- I wouldn't like to mention that angel here. But she does have an immature part to her which has influenced me a lot <I mean the lot, you can't even imagine the extent>. With the few brain cells which yearn for some optimism, let me put it as my character becoming stronger with time because of that person.

Peer pressure - Lemme put it plainly. That still exists! Dude, I don't understand how people are so self-confident about themselves in not comparing with the person you all know. Either you compare yourself, or someone compares you with another person <yea the former happened because of the latter, if you get it, we're soulmates>

Entering the legal adult phase, and still a kid by heart. Umm what else, these are plain memories, and glad that no one's gonna know. 

With love, 
KSG