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Unintended Motivation

 Back here, after some time, I guess.  I don't know whether my choices are good or bad, but then, I just want to prove myself worthy, at least to myself. One unsatisfiable bitch inside this girl, lol I just can't satisfy my inner soul at any cost. I feel my environment was equally responsible for this. People around me were never satisfied unless it was the best.  Even though I believe in the ideology of being happy with whatever I have, as of now, I'm not the person who has control over my life. Obviously, my parents, feed me, get my clothes, and put a roof above my head. Most importantly, pay to enhance my dumb and stupid brain. Either I degrade myself like this or hear my parents degrading me, more like LIFE HAS TWO MODES.  Talking about degradation, Character degradation might be the worst a person could face mentally. A comparison could be taken positively provided the comparison is for improvement and not for degradation or hurting hearts.  Tears out of no...
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Its my life, Its now or never

 So ! Hey there!  My first post and it's supposed to be a private blog. Look obviously no one's gonna search for this or read this. So it's gonna remain as such forever prolly. The title - it's funny right! It has another depressing face to it. For example, MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE till now :) My birth in a polyclinic was chaos. I mean it, bro! It's more like, my grandparents lost the money they had to pay to settle the hospital bills, my mom was losing so much blood, my dad wasn't there for ritualistic reasons and I just came out <shrugs>. The last line makes it all clear, doesn't it?  So, was it a reason to celebrate, absolutely not my dear! Next comes my childhood period. Do you remember the games you played as a kid? Do you still have the toys? are they even being produced? Oh, my toys would never go out of stock! Not worth the curiosity, it's a simple pen and paper.  Source: Trust me, bro! Cuz I have no proofs <obviously> Now if you're ...
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